SOME THOUGHTS ON LOSS

Grief overwhelms many
Rage, denial, depression
Acceptance distant

     Several of my friends have suffered loss over the past week.  For some it is the death of loved ones, family and/or friends.  Others have lost pets that had grown to be part of the family.  There are those who have hopes and plans ripped to shreds by others who seemingly don't know or don't     care.  Some are waiting test results that will determine the way one lives over the next few months or years.  I know there are others who are hurting, and yet have not shared it on facebook, and maybe even with their closest friends and family.

     We all have or will face these issues.  Then to compound the unease the emotions that are raging in and through us, we begin to to feel guilty because we "have to be strong for ___."  We feel guilty for feeling like we are putting more burdens on others, or that other people have problems that are worse than ours.  We may not want to appear weak or down, whiny or indecisive.

     For my friends who have gotten this far and are experiencing this I have something to tell you.  Actually I have several things to tell you.  The first is this:  YOU ARE NORMAL as you experience these feelings.  You have suffered a major loss be it a relationship (death is a form of being broken up) or the hopes and dreams you had for the future have been ripped from your soul by news you have received.  It is alright to feel this way.  While it may be hard to do so, please do not feel guilty for feeling the way you do.  Now, if it is six months to a year later and you are experiencing the same feelings you probably need to seek professional help, but loss of any time is a wound to your psyche/soul/spirit and it takes time to heal.  As I understand medicine, one of the actions that needs to take place for people to heal is the need to get rid of the bad germs/poison in the body.  If the bad stuff is not expelled then it grows and festers until it either comes out explosively or overcomes the body and begins to impact the rest of the body as it spreads.  Keeping your grief and hurt inside is like keeping the infection inside of your body while it grows and begins to swell the body.  Work your hurt out through some way.  It may be prayers to God (it is ok to yell and question God); maybe it is a bunch of crying; it could be some sort of meditation and solitude; and still another way could be talking with close friends.

     The second item is this-do not minimize how you are feeling.  Remember this-one person's mole hill maybe some one else's mountain.  You may be looking at another person's mountain and think yours in only a molehill when in reality to you it is as steep and as high as the other person's.

     As we move to number three, understand that working through hurt and loss, grief and pain can be a very long process.  Rarely is it over quickly, and rarely can you do it yourself.  You might think you can, but every time you talk to a friend, pray to your God, post on facebook you are reaching out for help.  It may just be to say you are hurting still, or it may be you want a response, some comfort.  The pain can ebb and flow.  The sorrow may be seen approaching while other times it can just appear out of no-where (one of my friends calls it a grief tsunami.)  As you think about the history in the world think about how many cultures have had extended times of mourning.  We in America often want and think our loss and pain should be overcome and disappear within a week.  It does not usually happen that way, and if we try to rush it we end up with the same effects as number one.

     Finally, remember there is hope.  It may be hard to see, but it is there.  As long as one draws breath there is hope.  Some may say that is not true and give evidence of those who are in a vegetative state in a hospital or care center.  However, miracles (or unexplained phenomena if you do not want to ascribe certain things to God or are a non-theist) do occur.  New procedures are discovered.  Strangers enter your life and become friends.

     As a follower of Jesus Christ I believe in the hope that will be fulfilled at the end of time.  Even when it may seem hopeless I can lean on the hope that only God can provide through his faithfulness to his covenant.  May you find peace and hope in your time of hurt and sorrow.

Positive Instead of Negative Resolutions

            Have you ever noticed how many of our resolutions are driven by self, selfishness and/or negativity?  Stop smoking so I don’t die, stop eating too much so I can lose weight or not gain weight, don’t exercise enough and that is bad for my heart, work too much and it impacts the family, and the list goes on and on.  With the New Year upon us, how many of our/your resolutions are driven by bad or negative thoughts, by fear?  Please understand there is nothing wrong with these type of resolutions or other similar type of resolutions especially if they are needs you need to do.  At the same time do our resolutions tear us down instead of build us up?

            What if instead of focusing our resolutions on what is negative or needs to change we turned our attention and actions to what we have that is positive, and work to make them better thus making ourselves better and stronger?  Maybe someone likes to talk to people, friends and strangers alike.  What if the resolution was that while talking to someone you naturally slip a personal, positive thought or compliment into the conversation?  The idea would be to help brighten someone’s day, to encourage them, to strengthen them.  Maybe there are some who really like to cook, could the resolution be to find a way to use your passion?  There might be neighbors who do not get home cooked food very often, or parents of young families who are harried and would love to have a meal or a dish provided for them with no ulterior motive.  What about those who are good with their hands, schematics, and diagrams what if the resolution made dealt with fixing things around the house for someone who is not able to do it?  Maybe, you have some extra time and the resolution could be to volunteer some place like a school or Feed My Starving Children, Goodwill, or someplace else.  There are many who garden.  What if a resolution was made to provide a basket of fresh food each week to the food bank during growing season? 

            You might be wondering how are these type of resolutions church related.  One way is to remember God has given each and every one talents, abilities, and gifts of the Spirit for the up-building of the body of Christ.  As we explore and find out what the Lord has given us we can begin to use and strengthen the talent, the ability, the gift.  We can use them for the strengthening and building up of the body of Christ and the members in it.  Maybe we find out we have a passion for something but we have no ability or gifts in it, and are asking ourselves what do we do then.  Guess what, we can still make a resolution to find a way to make a positive impact.  Think about music as an example.  Many will not sing when people are around, but in a car, the shower, the workshop these same people will sing, and maybe not well but they enjoy it and are able to do it in time.  What if in a church setting those who do not sing for any reason, except physically not being able to, sang?  Think of the example setting to the children and to others about it is ok to make a joyful noise to the Lord.  Maybe by your singing someone else will be willing to begin to sing.  By using our gifts and passions we strengthen the body of Christ and our gifts get refined.

            A second way the positive resolutions are church related is that we are called to be a light to the world.  Many times resolutions focus on the self, losing weight, eating less or healthier, stop cursing, etc.  Yes, these can be a light to others in the name of Jesus, but more often than not we do not think about our resolutions being for God or for others.  What if our resolutions were focusing on the positives we have and telling others, reaching out to others all in the name of Jesus Christ.  When someone asks “why are you here fixing up my house” a reply could be “I made a resolution to use my actions, gifts, and talents in positive ways in the name of Jesus,” or “I have these abilities/time/desire given to me by God, and I want to reflect his love for me and the light he has brought to me to others.  This is a way I can do it.”

            Resolutions do not always have to be negative in tone or in response to not meeting yours or others’ expectations.  They can be positive and up-lifting for you and for others.  What type are you going to make this year.

            I hope your Christmas was blessed with joy, and the New Year be filled with hope and love,

           

Pastor Dave 

DO YOU WANT TO GET WELL?  IS OUR NORMAL GOOD? 

A Reflection on John 5:1-18

NORMAL:  The malleable condition or state in which we are most used to or comfortable.  It is not always the healthiest condition or state one can live in.  (Dave’s working definition of what normal sometimes means.)

                Jesus once asked an invalid man, "do you want to get well?"  Instead of immediately saying yes, the man began to tell Jesus why he could not get well.  Why was that?  As I have reflected on it this week I wonder if the man's reply was a way of saying he did not want to change what he knew.  It was his normal.  He had resided in an invalid state for 35+ years, and it was all he knew.  When Jesus asks the man the question the paralyzed man may have heard it as “do you want to change from what you know?”  The man never actually says he wants to be made well, instead he tells Jesus why he cannot be made well where he is at.  So what does Jesus do?  He says to the man"get up!"  The man's normal was instantly changed.  The man was healed, but there was some action required on his part.

                As we fast forward 2000 years we know Jesus is still asking the question "do you want to get well" to people.  Many of us, possibly most or all of us, have something that is laming us, blinding, us, paralyzing us or in some other way impairing or making us ill.  While for some it is a physical ailment for many it is a spiritual, emotional, or mental long term condition that has gradually changed what we used to see as normal into a new normal.  When we are asked the same question we have a choice to make, to move into a new normal that is being offered, or to stay in the normal we know even if it is not good.  As we reflect on what we would do, think about how easy it is for us to look at others and say they need to change their attitude/way of living/ relationships/etc, and then think about what our reaction is when we are faced with the same situation.

                Probably one of the most prominent examples of people being asked if they want to get well, and then, even knowing they probably should, do not get up and walk away from the situation are those who are caught up in domestic abuse.  This confuses and upsets many people on the outside as well.  We often ask why people stay or go back to their abusers.  There is often a lack of mercy and grace shown.  Why is that?  Why do people withdraw from those whose normal is one of pain?  Why do people return to a normal that is makes them ill and causes them pain?

                Looking at those who get irate at their friends and others who don’t do anything about the situation, or keep returning to it we see many who would say they would never get caught up in something like that; that they would leave if anything like that would happen.  Sometimes the frustration comes out with friends and friends walk away from each other.  Other times is we do not know the people we hear or read about that go back to the abusive arena we will call them names like stupid or dumb.  Mercy and grace are often not shown.

                What if we began to look at what the normal is for those people?  Their normal probably has changed over the course of time.  Like the man at the Pool of Bethesda the hope has gradually faded until they are just there.  So what would cause a person to have their normal changed like that?  In our example it could be the words that are used against them that gradually begin to rot the knowledge of who they are.  They may not be loud outbursts, but quiet phrases used over and over again, each one, even the time they are said, allowing the germs of despair and hurt to get in and begin to attack from the inside. Words and phrases uttered in arguments and in simple day to day living.  Words like “you’re stupid;” “you’re dumb”; “it’s better if I do it because you will screw it up”; “your clothes are getting too tight”; “you can’t do anything right”; and the list goes on and on.  And, while people say it shouldn’t, when words are uttered enough times at someone they will begin to believe it about themselves.

                It is not just words that change a person’s normal, there are the threats that are made and the fear that is caused by them.  “If you leave you’ll never see the kids again!”  “Sure go ahead, leave, but you will never see any of the money in the accounts.  You will be poor the rest of your life.”  “You’ll be out on the streets with no place to go.  Do you really think child welfare is going to let the kids be with you.”   “I’ll kill myself if you leave and take others with me” with an implied threat it will be the abuse and kids/relatives.”  If the abusee has been worn down, or is scared, or been in a situation where this is normal they believe all these threats, and others will happen, or believe they could happen and they do not know what to do about them.  They may also have had experience where the threats have become actions. 

                Now take all of these actions, live in them a while, and then begin to think about how much people like change and the unknown.  The normal is not good, and yet the fear of the unknown may seem worse than the current reality.  While it may be illness producing, at least one knows what to expect, and the unknown brings uncertainty.

                Again, there are those who say that this could never happen to me, but it could.  If it is very gradual, one often does not see how the old normal that is healthy has been changed to a normal that is paralyzing.  Sometimes one exchanges one normal for another that is essentially the same.

                We could talk more about the different ways the normal changes for the ones in abusive relationships and how it gradually changes over time, but we won’t.  I will say this, it is NOT just in abusive relationships that the normal we have becomes toxic, paralyzing, hurtful.  It is just an example that is very visible and that we may not understand why people stay in it or return to it.  There are other examples as well such as being a work-a-holic, being paralyzed by fear of the unknown, a desire for control, etc, that people live into that becomes normal, but is not healthy.

                So what can we do?  The first is to recognize that we could be in the same or similar position ourselves.  We need to ask ourselves how we would like people to interact with us if we were in the same position.  Often we find out that what we would want ourselves we condemn in other people.  Mercy, grace, tolerance, love, support, friendship are all characteristics we want and can offer, but often do not because the normal of other people is radically different from what we know is healthy.  We begin to withdraw instead of continuing to seek to help them get healthy. 

                We can ask the question, maybe not so bluntly, “do you want to get well?”  We can listen to their answers, and then work from there.  There may be those who are not ready to get well or admit they are sick.  We can stay begin to lay the groundwork so they are ready to be able to answer yes when asked “do you want to get well?”  It is seldom that we can be effective with the approach Jesus took and just tell them to get up and be better.  IT does work for some, but for many it does not.  Instead, we can listen to what they say when asked the question, and then begin to address their fears and concerns.  The man Jesus was talking too had the concern no one was helping him get to where he needed to go.  Jesus listened, and told him what he needed to do.  While we may not be Jesus we can listen, and we can maybe point out different ways to begin to change the unhealthy normal to a healthier normal.  We can walk with them as they begin to address their fears, and understanding within our own selves we may never understand why or how our friend arrived to the place where they are hurting so bad.

                If we are in that situation we can ask for help.  The man at the pool of Bethesda did not ask for help, but we see in other situations where people came to Jesus for help.  Sometimes it was for themselves and sometimes it was for others.  We can also be aware that people are asked the question still today.  The people include ourselves.    We can also accept the help, like the man at the pool did, that is offered. 

                Do you want to get well?  Do you want your normal to become a healthy normal?

The Plateau

      I like the mountain top experiences I have experienced in my life.  They have encouraged me in ways seen and unseen.  Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, they have been few and far between.  As for the valleys, I have had a few of them along the way.  Some have been darker than others.  And, while they may have helped me in some way, I am not going to say I am glad I went through them.  The journeys through the valleys are exhausting, painful, despair inducing times.  Yes, coming out of them have strengthened me, and I have experienced God in unique ways which I am grateful for, but the residual pain is often there.

     What I have learned through the years is that the flat plateau on the journey of faith may be the best.  It may be the most boring as well, but think about what it means when our faith journey is on a straight and level path.  It is on the level places that we train and build our endurance to survive going into the depths of darkness.  Just like when we exercise our physical bodies and build stamina our reserves and endurance are built up on the plateau of our faith journey.  And, for the mountaintop experiences, traveling the plateau allows us to be able to see and recognize when we are  on top.

     I encourage those who are struggling with the plateau to remember that the plateau is not always the bad thing it is made out to be.  We can still grow and become stronger in our faith simply by walking the journey we have before us, one step at a time.  If you have fallen into the valley draw upon the reserves you have built up travelling on the road of faith.  If you are on the mountaintop come and share with the community what you have experienced, and remember walking the path helped you to be able to reach the mountaintop.

     One last thing for this little post, remember that it is easier for the Lord to come into our lives when the road is level.  He can come in, and we can issue the invitation, when we are on top or in the bottom, but the road to our heart should be as level as possible.

"Listen! It’s the voice of someone shouting,

'Clear the way through the wilderness

    for the Lord!

Make a straight highway through the wasteland

    for our God!

4 Fill in the valleys,

    and level the mountains and hills.

Straighten the curves,

    and smooth out the rough places.

5 Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed,

    and all people will see it together.

    The Lord has spoken!'"  (Isaiah 40:3-5, New Living Translation)

Joy v Happiness

Some thoughts on the difference between Joy and Happiness.  It was a sermon from September 21, 2014.  I do not preach verbatim, this is more of an outline for me so there may be parts I think are clear because I know what I wanted to say or add while I was speaking.  If you come across some areas that are not quite so clear to you and have questions feel free to ask, and I will try to get back to you.  The Scripture lessons are before the message proper.
Blessings,

Dave

Philippians 4:4-14 New International Version (NIV)

Final Exhortations

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Thanks for Their Gifts

10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.

Nehemiah 8:1-12 New International Version (NIV)

8 ¹ all the people came together as one in the square before the Water Gate. They told Ezra the teacher of the Law to bring out the Book of the Law of Moses, which the Lord had commanded for Israel.

² So on the first day of the seventh month Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, which was made up of men and women and all who were able to understand.³ He read it aloud from daybreak till noon as he faced the square before the Water Gate in the presence of the men, women and others who could understand. And all the people listened attentively to the Book of the Law.

⁴ Ezra the teacher of the Law stood on a high wooden platform built for the occasion. Beside him on his right stood Mattithiah, Shema, Anaiah, Uriah, Hilkiah and Maaseiah; and on his left were Pedaiah, Mishael, Malkijah, Hashum, Hashbaddanah, Zechariah and Meshullam.

⁵ Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. ⁶ Ezra praised the Lord, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, “Amen! Amen!” Then they bowed down and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground.

⁷ The Levites—Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodiah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan and Pelaiah—instructed the people in the Law while the people were standing there. ⁸ They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear^[a] and giving the meaning so that the people understood what was being read.

⁹ Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and teacher of the Law, and the Leviteswho were instructing the people said to them all, “This day is holy to the Lord your God. Do not mourn or weep.” For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law.

¹⁰ Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of theLord is your strength.”

¹¹ The Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be still, for this is a holy day. Do not grieve.”

¹² Then all the people went away to eat and drink, to send portions of food and to celebrate with great joy, because they now understood the words that had been made known to them.

                Back in February The Tonight Show on NBC switched hosts.  For several decades the host had been Jay Leno, and he did what many talk show hosts do-have political satire, made fun of people, etc.  When they switched hosts the network went with a former Saturday Night Live cast member named Jimmy Fallon.  During his short time on the show Jimmy Fallon has brought joy to late night.  This change has been so notable that even magazines such as Christianity Today have noticed and written about it.  There is something about his demeanor that goes beyond just happiness.  It seems to radiate out from him it seems to be part of him.  And, it is so much a part of him that it seems as if he wants to share it with others.  He is joyful.

                In today’s world many people think joy and happiness are the same.  As we read Scripture, and as we go through life we find out they are not.  Happiness is a temporary emotion that can be stripped or ripped away quickly.  Happiness is not something that is lifted up extensively in the Bible.  Joy, however, is something that is lifted up quite a bit.  Joy is a state of being that allows a person to go forward knowing God is in control.  Rick Warren, the pastor who wrote “The Purpose Driven Life” and founder of Saddleback Church in California, wrote a devotional about happiness and joy.  This is what he says:

                “Finding joy is a challenge for me. I’m not naturally an upbeat person; I’m more of a melancholy. When I talk about joy, I’m not doing so from the perspective of a generally peppy person who never has a bad day. In fact, it’s because of my own inability to live with joy that led me to explore why my experiences didn’t line up with Scripture.

                My problem was my definition of joy. I thought joy meant feeling good all the time. That’s impossible! Even for those who are naturally upbeat and optimistic, that’s impossible. We have to start somewhere more realistic — and close to Scripture.

                So here’s the definition I’ve come up with from studying Scripture:

Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control..., the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.

                You’ll find nothing in that definition about happy feelings, because, as we all know, happiness is fleeting and temporary.

                We tend to think that life comes in hills and valleys. In reality, it’s much more like train tracks. Every day of your life, wonderful, good things happen that bring pleasure and contentment and beauty to you. At the exact same time, painful things happen to you or those you love that disappoint you, hurt you, and fill you with sorrow. These two tracks — both joy and sorrow — run parallel to each other every single moment of your life.

                That’s why, when you’re in the midst of an amazing experience, you have a nagging realization that it’s not perfect. And while you’re experiencing something painful, there’s the glorious realization that there is still beauty and loveliness to be found. They’re inseparable.

                If you look down train tracks into the brightness of the horizon, the tracks become one. You can’t distinguish them as two separate tracks. That’s how it will be for us, too. One day, our parallel tracks of joy and sorrow will merge into one. The day we meet Jesus Christ in person and see the brightness of who he is, it will all come together for us. Then it will all make complete sense.”

                When Paul writes “rejoice in the Lord, again I say Rejoice!” he is not just writing about an esoteric, hypothetical exercise about showing excitement.  Instead he is saying be glad in God even if things are not perfect or even terrible.  Paul has been given and has learned about the fruit of the spirit that is joy.  In his journeys he has experienced much hurt and pain, and yet it is the joy, the knowledge that God is in control that enables him to keep going and spreading the Good News of Jesus.  The joy of the Lord is Paul’s strength.

                In the world today many of us have confused happiness and joy.  If we are not happy, then there is the perception in our minds and the minds of others that we are not joyful people.  We get down on ourselves and feel guilty that we are hurting.  We come up with excuses or sayings that denigrate our own pain thinking it will help us to feel better.  How often have you heard or even used the phrase “well my problems are not as bad as someone else’s.”  What that does is to stuff down our feelings, and we become more jaded and hurt.  It becomes harder and harder for us to find the gladness in anything.  It blinds us.

                The Israelites are told to rely on God’s joy, gladness.  This is after all the trouble they have had, the exile, the trouble rebuilding the wall, and then hearing the Book of the Law being read and realizing how far they had gotten away from God.  I believe that one of the lessons God wanted the Israelites to learn was that even in the midst of the knowledge of being sinful, of facing obstacles, of being hurt emotionally, physically, spiritually the Lord wants to take pride in his people and will give them assurance and comfort, strength and gladness to get through the pain and wounds of life.  Those who trust in God bring him joy, and in return God gives hope and assurance.

                This morning examine yourself.  See if you confuse happiness and joy.  Ask yourself if you are working to allow the fruit of joy to blossom and grow within you, or if you are lacking in happiness, confusing the happiness with joy, and effectively freezing the joy out of your heart and soul.  If you can say you have joy do you a) let people see it in you during the good times?  Do you share it with others?  B) lean on it during the tough and painful times that you experience?  If you do not trust God to give you strength/rely on the joy of the Lord can you begin to take baby steps and begin to explore how God has helped you in times past or helped others?

                Paul reminds us to rejoice.  While I could not find it to be exactly like this, we can remember that “re” means again.  Paul is, I believe, reminding us that we can re-joy again, find the joy we have had before.  For a church this could mean finding that state, not necessarily the actions, but the state of trusting God again, finding the gladness of God and knowing God in all things.  For us as individuals it can be the same thing-to find the joy of the Lord again.  Sometimes we need to go through the motions until we begin to feel it, other times it will come naturally.  But rest assured the Joy of God will help you.  Amen and Amen.


As an addendum that I mentioned on Sunday, one of the places where you can see where people are not happy, but could be joy filled is a funeral.  Remember during a funeral service one of the first things the presider often says is "friends we have come together to celebrate the life of ____, and to acknowledge our human loss."  And, then stories are often told, and especially after the service at the lunch or wake you begin to hear laughter as stories are told.  I as a pastor often hear words before and after the service to the effect, "I remember So&So did this one time," I hear a great story, and then these words or something similar "You probably can't tell that one from the pulpit."  There is often joy found even in the most unhappy of times.

Whose Hopes and Dreams Do We Have

                A few years ago I read the book “Pathway to Renewal” by Dan Smith.  As I read it one of the things that jumped out at me was the assertion that for renewal to take place the congregation had to be willing to give everything up including those things that they held dear.  This included hopes, dreams, buildings, location, memorials, etc.  The reason for this, if I remember correctly, was that often what we want is not necessarily what God wants for the congregation.  We need to be willing to put down our hopes and dreams and pick up God’s hopes and dreams.  For some congregations this is difficult, for many more congregations this is impossible.

            I had the opportunity to ask Dan on whether or not this could apply to annual conferences as well.  As I recall I got a vague answer that leaned toward yes.  I bring this up because often the different conferences espouse one thing for the local church, but do not apply the same principals to the conference structure or activity.  The activity going on about schism in the United Methodist Church is a prime example where the denomination in the United States is acting like a local church congregation.

            There is a lot of talk about unity, schism, and discord in the denomination.  There are those who are advocating a split while others are pushing for the denomination to stay together.  What I see and hear are a lot of knee jerk reactions to protect the fiefdoms.  For those calling for separation the reaction is not to wait until the next General Conference to see what they will do about the willful disobedience by pastors and congregations, but to pull out now before it is too late.  For the side that is calling for unity in the face of disagreement there is the knee jerk reaction of multiple resolutions being presented at annual conferences condemning disunity and celebrating and wanting to keep the unity of the denomination.  The bishops seem to fall into this last category, but that might be because of their position where they are tasked with keeping the denomination together. 

            What I do not hear from the bishops, from leaders on both sides, from the rank and file is “let’s come to the table and be willing to put down what we hold dear and pick up what God wants us to do even if it is not where we want to go.”  Now, I understand there are some things, values, beliefs, whatever you want to call them that are non-negotiable.  Most of these are the theological type.  That is another discussion all together.  Just as a church is called to discern on whether or not to move; change ministry focus; to close; to move the piano 6”; the denomination should be willing to discern if the Spirit is moving us forward to stay together or to split.  What I have seen and heard is the knees coming up, the shields being deployed, and everyone in defensive mode whenever split or closing the denomination is brought up.  It is just like many a local church who the pastor or DS has said “we think it is in the best interest for the church to close.”

            I do not particularly want the United Methodist Church to split.  I was born in 1966 and been in the UMC or its predecessor my whole life.  I like the emphasis on forgiveness and atonement, prevenient, justification, and sanctifying grace.  I have been called to be a United Methodist minister.  I am also worried about how a split would affect my family and I as I have three school age children and my wife is an elder.  At the same time I have to be willing to set aside what I want to be able to see and hear what God wants us to do.  However, to do that takes time and effort with as little bias as possible in presentations.  It requires work and patience on both sides.

            Are we called to split?  I do not know.  Are we called to stay together?  Again I do not know.  Should we be examining all options involving both?  Yes, to be able to see if God is leading us in a way we may not like or expect.  In this debate whose dreams do we have in our hearts?

Some of the Work Required to Turn Around Churches

Below are the newsletter articles for February and March.  In them there is discussion on what we can do to turn churches around.  Just as a reminder these items are not totally inclusive.  There are probably others as well.

                I am often asked by individuals and in meetings what we can do to turn the church around/how do we get people to come back to church.  I have some answers, and will share some of them this month and some next month.  There will be some commentary with them to help explain them.  One thing to remember is that just like a fully loaded oil tanker at sea trying to turn around, it is going to take time, work, and space.

1.  There is no group that is going to be the savior of the church.  We often think “if only the youth/the ones who have stopped coming/ the families/etc would come they will save the church.”  As Kenda Creasy Dean reminded the Annual Conference a few years ago these groups are not our savior(s), our Savior is Jesus Christ-living, died, raised, and coming again. 

2.  We have to tell among ourselves and to others our stories on why God is important to us, what Jesus has done for us, and how the Holy Spirit helps us.  If we do not talk about our faith then other people are not going to know that God is alive and active in the world today.  Our faith is not supposed to be kept to ourselves, but rather it is to be shared with the world.  Remember Jesus tells us in Matthew to go into all the world teaching and baptizing, making disciples.  He does not tell us to stay quiet.

3.  Along with talking about our faith we also have to issue invitations for people to come to church, and invitations for people to enter into a life transforming relationship with Jesus Christ as their Savior.  Over the last 20 years I have had many people say “I don’t know how to share my faith” or “I don’t want to push religion on anyone” or “it makes me uncomfortable,” and a host of other reasons or excuses.  We live today in a culture more like the Apostles’ and early Christians than we do in one like the 1960s/70s.  In the 60s and 70s there was still somewhat of the expectation one would go to church on Sunday and be involved in its ministries.  That is not the case anymore.  Instead, like the Apostles and early Christians, we live in a society where we need to be like Andrew when he went and told people about Jesus, and then asked him to go to see him.

4.  We need more small groups.  These groups can be grouped around interests, missions, sports, learning, study, etc, but they should always include prayer and support when they meet.  The early Methodists met weekly in classes where they were encouraged to confess their sins and to build each other up.  The classes also grew organically, and when they began to get too big they split and formed new ones.

5.  We need to rethink what the Church is.  Too often we have forgotten The Church, which we are members of, is the Body of Christ, and not a building.  We are the hands and feet of Jesus.  It has been said the Church is the only entity that is in business not for itself.  We need to be reaching out locally, nationally, and internationally.  This reaching out is not just by giving money or supplies, but also going to where the need is, taking the time and inviting people to come to receive physical and spiritual help. 

                Next month we will look at a few more items that we can do to strengthen the congregations.

                Blessings,


                Pastor Dave

                Last month I listed five items we need to know or do to turn the church around/to get more people in church.  This month we will conclude the list.  Now please understand these are not all that we have to do, but it is a start and they are some of the bigger items we need to address.  Also, please know that most of the items are facing many, if not most, of the churches in America today.  Just as a recap here are the five that were talked about last month.  If you want to know more about each point refer to your newsletter or contact the church office and Norma should be able to e-mail you one.

1.  The only Savior for the church is Jesus Christ.  There is no one person or group who is going to save the church other than him. 

2.  We have to tell other people, including those who do not come to church, what God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit has done for us.

3.  We have to extend invitations to people to come to church and to enter into a relationship with Jesus.

4.  We need more small groups.

5.  We need to rethink what church is.

                 Here are the rest of the actions we can do to help the church become who God wants us to be.

6.  We have to be willing to take risks and to be willing to set aside personal preferences.  Congregations are some of the most risk adverse groups there are.  Change does not come easily, nor new things.  Even some of the things that we try that seem new are old things just repackaged in new wrapping.  Sometimes what we try or should be doing goes against what we would do personally or what we like to do.  Risk taking is scary, it can be uncomfortable, and there is no guarantee of success, and yet we are called to do it in the name of Jesus Christ.  If we stumble then we will just get up, wipe ourselves off, and continue to do what God is calling us to do.  Sometimes we get too comfortable in our preferences that we cannot, or more accurately, will not be willing to change or try new things.  Peter took a risk when he got out of the boat to go to Jesus, and when he stumbled Jesus was there to help him up.

7.  Everyone has dreams including God.  God has a dream of who we can become as individuals and as a congregation.  We have to be willing to set aside our dreams for the congregation and church, and then pick up God’s dream for us.  This takes a lot of work, discernment, and will power.  It involves a lot of letting go.

8.  We need to move the Lord and church up on our priority list.  Some may say “you’re getting too personal Dave.”  I would ask, “did this strike too close to home?”  Remember the first commandment, “you shall not have any other God before me.”  God should be number one in our lives.  We are told not to forget the assembly of the saints as some are known to do.  In today’s world there are many other things calling for our priority.  As we hear these voices we have to make choices on what is going to be the most important.  We will also have to carve time out of the schedule for both worship and personal devotion time.  There will be those times we also need to make time for special activities at the church.

9.  We need to remember what God gives us may be something entirely different than what we want.  This could be ministry, building, location, who we work with, and the list goes on and on.  This may mean giving up what we hold dear, and not just dreams and memories.

10.  We need to show mercy, grace, offer forgiveness, and put aside grudges.  I have heard of and been in churches that are still dealing with unresolved conflict or grudges from 5, 10, 20, even 50 years ago.  It needs to be practiced in the Christian’s home as well because you will bring your attitude from home to the church.  From moving a piano across the chancel area or even just a few inches to putting cushions on the pews; from somebody who might not have smiled at you at a family reunion to your spouse not putting the seat down; if we do not forgive and show mercy and grace, the affront gets into us and festers.  It infects us, our relationships, and eventually our actions.  It will infect the rest of the body of Christ.  Sometimes the infection will be a slow gradual erosion of health that is not noticeable until it is too late.  Other times it will become like an infected boil that when any pressure, intentional or unintentional, is applied it busts spurting its pus and goo all over the group.  As it explodes, much like the potatoes in John Belushi’s lunchroom scene in “Animal House”, it opens a way for more infection to invade us, and as the infection lands on other people it can ooze its way into the tiniest of openings and begin to grow there.  The medicine for this is to communicate, to show grace and mercy, and to forgive.

11.  The last one should actually be the first one.  We should literally or figuratively be on our knees praying.  Praying for the Body of Christ to be made strong; seeking the Lord’s guidance on where we should go and who we should and could become as we follow him completely.  We need to be interceding for those who are hurting even if they are our enemies or we do not like them.  To be willing to God to put people in front of us whom we can share the Good News of Jesus Christ with.  We need to come before the Almighty with the knowledge and a confession of our sinfulness, but also to be willing to ask for pardon and forgiveness.  We should be praying for courage to go where we are called.  To tell God everything that is bothering us no matter how big, how small, how silly we perceive it to be, or how insignificant we think it is.  God wants us to bring ALL to him. 

Blessings,

Pastor Dave