Fear: Neither Side Will Admit Using It to Change Minds, and Yet Condemn the Other for Using It When It Comes to Guns or Refugees

     This is a short, quickly thown together thought/blog.  I do not mean to offend anyone, but I hope people will begin to think about the way the other side feels.

  I do believe we should help the Syrian/Mid-Easterm refugees in some way.  At the same time I do have legitimate concerns about the vetting process especially when I hear that the government wants to allow 10,000 in by the end of next year.  There is no way to do proper vetting on that many in that short of time frame.  In addition people can hide their true motivations if they have the discipline to do so.  Because of the concerns many will call me names such as bigot, fear monger, etc.  There is a difference between concerns and fear.  The Bible is pulled out a lot for allowing open borders, but rarely is it mentioned that Jacob's sons went back to Canaan (yes, I know they eventually settled in Goshen, but that was due to Joseph's position more than the kind heartedness of the Egyptians.)  It is rarely mentioned that when Mary and Joseph fled with Jesus to Egypt they went to another section of the Roman empire, not a totally new country for them.  It could be seen today as moving from one state in a region to another state in another region of the USA.

     In our congregations we have people on both sides of the issue-let them in or keep them out-and both sides are correct.  Some may disagree with this, but one can make a biblical case for either side.  I believe our job is to help people figure out how we can love and help regardless of what side they stand on the issue.  When we begin to throw around terms and calling names because we do not like where they stand hurts the cause more.

     Along the same lines have you ever noticed that the tactic used for stricter gun control/abolition of guns is the same one that is supposedly used by those who are against the refugees coming and settling here-FEAR.

     Why is it okay to use fear of what might happen, and what has happened for the removal of guns, and yet when people lift up concerns about the refugees coming to America they are letting their fear rule them? 

     This is an issue for clergy of all denominations.  Yes, I know this is a controversial subject, but it is one that is taking place know.  As I said earlier name calling does nothing, nor does projecting your thoughts about what someone feels onto them help.  While I have seemingly allied myself with the ones who have concerns about refugees, it needs to be pointed out that that side calls names and casts aspersions on the other side just as much.  The question is how can we help regardless of what side we are on?  How can we get fear out of the equation?  How can we notice that we often condemn the other side for their tactics, and yet use the same ones for our own benefit?  Are we willing to admit that we often do use fear?  Are we willing to admit we call people names and cast aspersion upon their motivations and emotions?

Is fear a good thing?  That might be a post in the future.

Soap Box about Veterans and the Department of Veterans Affairs

Before I get into the heart of the matter let me say I know there are good, honest hardworking people in the VA, maybe even the majority.  However, it only takes a few for the whole group to be tarnished.

While I appreciate the sentiment of Veterans Day it would be  even better if the government of the United States kept their promises to its veterans when they have to apply for health and compensation benefits when their service begins to impact their lives in the future.  Too often it seems as if the Department of Veterans Affairs look for ways to deny benefits, push pills for treatment, and are more concerned about bonuses for executives. 

This is not new.  From the beginning of the country veterans have often been used and then tossed aside like chaff after the harvest, left to be blown about by the vagrancies of the wind, the promises going up in smoke from the fires that are used to get rid of the trash.

It is not just the VA's fault.  From the executive branch not pushing enough to the congressmen and senators who use the veterans for photo ops and trying to buy votes with empty promises (much like Democratic candidates going into black churches and Republican candidates going to evangelical churches) the government often fails the veterans until many have succumbed to the ravages of war, and yet it will seem to many, because of the passing of time, that it is something else that has caused the death or maiming of a veteran.

 The wounds of war often are not ones that can be seen, and these wounds often start small and then begin to fester before one even realizes the hurt is from serving.  Many times by the time it is evident help is needed the poison in the body and/or soul has spread impacting not just the veteran, but the friends and family of the same veteran.

Here are some experiences with the VA myself and others have encountered in the last two decades.  Most of them have occurred in the last few years, and some of those in the last few months.  Some are from news reports, some are personal.  Some are from interactions and observations.  It is only the tip of the iceberg.

1.  Being hung up on because it is five o’clock/quitting time.  This is even after being on hold.  No explanation given, just click or "Thank you for calling the Depart of Veterans Affairs.  Our office hours are..."  This has happened not just 20+ years ago, but in the last few months.

2.  For certain type of comp and pension exams unqualified doctors being used.  An example is found in Minneapolis where GPs were doing traumatic brain injury evaluations despite the VA regulation saying only specialists in certain fields were allowed to do so.

3.  Medical and other sensitive information being thrown away in the public trash with no safeguards taken.  Examples include Sacramento, Hot Springs/Rapid City,  Dorn VAMC in South Carolina, and many more.

4.  While some may argue the following point, I think it is not good that they do it, and it should be easy enough to fix with today’s technology.  The issue is when you call just about any number in the VA system you will get a recording that says in essence “Thank you for call The Generic Veterans Medical Center (or whatever spot it is).  If this is a medical emergency please hang up and dial 9-1-1.  If you are thinking of harming yourself or others hang up and call the Veterans Crisis Line their number is:      .”  For many facing a mental health challenge it is difficult to make the first phone call, and then to be told call someone else may result in them not ever calling.  There should be a way to push a button to be connected to the Crisis Line as well as a way to push a button to be connected to the local 9-1-1 operator if it is a medical emergency. 

5.  To go along with number two many of the VA doctors are not versed in exposures the military faces, and when brought up many doctors will not believe what you have to say.  I have personally been told that sand cannot be inhaled deep into the lower parts of the lungs even though the Dept of Defense has issued at least one major report that says sand in the Middle East especially Iraq, Kuwait, and Saudi Arabia can be less than two micrometers in diameter.  The sand can cause scarring that does not show up in X-rays or pulmonary function tests.  Sand is but one issue, chemicals in daily work, fumes from various sources, infectious diseases and the list goes on and on.

6.  Seemingly try to find ways to deny benefits even to the point of going after another opinion and phrasing the request to point to the conclusion they want.  This can be especially true of one physician has linked the condition to military service and the VA does not want to give it a rating.

7.  Making it difficult to talk to National Service Officers, and the VA Benefits Administration in general, by having them in a building that requires a security check that sends subtle intimidation with an over- abundance of VA/Federal police, passing through security that is a joke, but requires everything out of pockets, belts removed, jackets removed.  Passing through the security one day I heard one of the officers saying that he had hoped the lady a few minutes before would have given him more attitude toward having to take off her belt.  He was actively wanting a confrontation to happen.  The security is a joke as it is passing thorugh a metal detector and having belts, jackets, etc go through some sort of scanner/x-ray.  While the common people have to wait to go through just feet from the metal detector is an employee entrance with no security other than what looks like a key card type of entry.  If anyone acquires a card then they will be able to enter freely.  Outside the building you have to go through a security check at the entrance, show your license, and then have a gate opened.  Again the employees have access to lots that just have a gate on it.  Realizing there may be other measures not seen if one wanted to cause damage to a federal building all one would have to do is to drive a truck much like Timothy McVeigh had through an unmanned gate, drive to the building, disgorge any terrorists that may be hidden within or blow the truck up even though the entrance is 25-50 feet from the driveway.  The  very front entrance may be somewhat safer, but it is full of glass, the distance is not great enough to prevent major damage, and on either side they could drive into a steep ditch and be right next to the building.

On a related note I was in the travel section of the VA Medical Center when somebody was complaining a bit loudly about the shortage of workers helping people even though there were workers not doing anything.  Another veteran told the one complaining to be careful because they would call the VA police for almost anything.  Intimidation is there even if they say it is not.

8.  Laying the burden of proof on the veteran when their respective service, the service in which medical help was sought, or DOD has lost the files of the event that occurred.  Even with medical records it can be difficult.  It is a documented fact that many units in Desert Storm threw away their records because of a directive that said to do so because it would be too expensive to ship otherwise.  Shot records are routinely lost, and the DOD even acknowledges that there are going to be records lost in a combat theater.  Often the reason for denial is because there is no evidence of an event that caused injury in one's service file.  Even if there is evidence it can be difficult to receive benefits for the injury.  I have seen a private health care provider who was also a reservist at one time.  This individual was eith a NP or PA, and had been activated several times in support of the units for OEF, OIF, and Afghanistan, and spent quite a bit of time in a deployment/redeployment center.  We have talked twice and both times she has said that there was a belief among the armed service personnel at the center that unless one was missing a limb, and even then there very well might be questions, that you would not be granted your claim.


I could go on and on with examples from myself and from others, but you can get the idea.  If one wants to honor the veterans the best way is to pressure the legislative and executive branches to honor the promises and obligations made to those who serve with the expectation that the government will fulfill their obligations.

Dave

Broken Promises: The Government's Responsibility to Its Veterans Is Not Being Met

If a country goes to war, or a veteran is injured or falls ill during their time of service, then it has a moral obligation to take care of its veterans.  Unfortunately, too often that is not the case.  Instead, for many veterans when they seek compensation and benefits it feels like the VA’s motto is “Deny, Deny, and wait (hope) that they die.”  The veterans of Desert Shield/Storm conflict are one of the groups who, the last time I saw a statistic, had an over 80% denial rate for claims.  It has been at 80% for denials since at least the mid-1990s.  Using myself, let me give a brief review of my experience with the Bureau of Veterans Affairs.

            In October, 1991 I returned from Saudi Arabia after having been exposed to multiple toxins, poisons, stress, infectious diseases, pesticides, oil well smoke, substandard living conditions, and other exposures for ten months.  For several months myself and others literally lived in a depression under a cloud of fumes from chemical agent resistant coating (CARC Paint) and its solvents.  This dome of fumes over our living area and worksite was so thick a safety officer shut down the site because he was afraid if a light that was being used for night time illumination was to bust the spark could explosively ignite the fumes.   I fell into a bunker with all my gear on and landed on my back, and even went on sick call for it even though it was miles away because ten days later my back and knees were still hurting.  When I arrived back in the states I specifically noted the fall, the heartburn, the smoke from the oil wells, the paint exposure, and other items on my redeployment physical. 

            I started going to the VA approximately 13 months after my return.  I am not sure when I first asked to go, it could have been within 12 months and it took some time for the VA to be able to see me.  What I do know is that 21-23 years ago I was not treated well by the VA or many of its employees.  Episodes included purposely being given the wrong directions to an office (turned out to be an outside door), being hung up on while I was on hold because it was five o’clock and the union would not allow anyone to work past that time, and being in line waiting to check out when quitting time came around, and being told that the ones in line would have to find another station to finish that day.  At the turn of the century I applied for a reconsideration/increase of my contentions and all were turned down.  In the statement of the case it mentioned an exam that I did not show up for, and that was used against me.  However, I made every exam that I knew about. 

I have recently been going through the process again for the aches and pains have progressively gotten worse.  Other than a clerk or two who was probably having a bad day no one has been obnoxiously rude to me, but there has been an attitude of condescension from many.  It is important to note, not all that I have come across has exhibited this, but many have had an aura of “you should be glad that we are letting you be examined here by our great personages.”  Others have shown disinterest, and others have shown no interest.  There have been some who have been nice, but at the same time project an attitude of disbelief.  Doctors are, for the most part, not interested in material one brings in to show them about what one had been exposed to in theater.  It seems as if the physicians look at two things when they see me, and make up their minds simply because I am aging (48y.o.) and overweight.   They do not believe there is something wrong other than deconditioning and aging.  It seems as if they cannot accept the fact that part or all of the deconditioning and weight gain is due to something they cannot explain or figure out, or they make snap judgements that are hard to break.

            From my experience what seems to have hurt me are several factors.  Here are some of them:

1.  I have not always been able to go to a doctor because of cost or distance.  I have never had a lot of money and I have three children and a wife.  Even with insurance the cost of going to a doctor can be prohibitive.  Also, many times you go to a doctor and they will tell you the same things to do you have been told before.  It is often a waste of time and money to go to a doctor if you know what is wrong.  Other times the medical advice that is being issued to the public is to not go to the doctor for every sniffle, ache or pain.  Instead one should try to wait it out to see if it resolves itself without professional medical intervention or prescription drugs.  

     As for the distance to a VA Medical Center in the last twenty-two years I have lived within a ½ hour of a VAMC only six of those years.  Most of those years it has been over an hour away, and no less than 50 miles away.  Some of those times the distance has been over two and a half hours.  Because of not complaining and unnecessarily spending time and money every six months the VA will say there is no chronicity of at least six months that would make it chronic.  This is even if it is more than six months after they receive your claim and you get a so called compensation and pension exam (the exam I have been told is not really an exam, but rather the physician is supposed to just review the records, maybe take a few x-rays, and do some very basic testing such as “can you push my hands up while I am pushing down on your hands.  This was a VA C&P MD examiner in the last three years who told me this.) 

2.  An action taken by the Department of the Army that calls into question any denial of service connection is the order that was given units to destroy their records because there was not enough room to ship them back.  The Army acknowledged this was in contradiction to their own policies.  This action makes one wonder and lays the ground work for the granting of any condition.  Some will say this is not/should not be the case, but if they destroyed some records on purpose in contradiction of standing orders reasonable doubt is raised as to what else was ordered destroyed, or what the government wants to keep hidden.  Some will say this is conspiratorial, but all one needs to do to see that the government is capable of such things is to remember Tuskegee , Vietnam and Agent Orange, the Atomic Veterans and others. 

3.  Like many veterans I did not go on sick call for every ache, pain, or fever.  In good conscience now, I have started telling those who are going to serve to make sure you get everything into your medical record.  Unfortunately that may hurt their advancement because of the attitude of “sucking it up” that is prevalent in the military.  Too many complaints can cause someone to be rated lower.

      Then there is the issue that many times in a combat theater the medical personnel that are seen are medics, and not necessarily nurses or physicians. 

4.  As a young man I was ignorant of many of the health issues that were affecting me, or did not realize there would be long term consequences to my health or to my benefits.  When I returned stateside, I was ready to see friends and family, and did not have anyone helping to guide me through the process.  An example of this would be heartburn actually being gastro-esophogeal reflux disease.  As a 25 year old who had been eating army food for a year, and had not had any major bouts of heartburn before, I just thought it was something I ate.  Little did I know heartburn was a serious condition, or that it would continue to get worsen.

 5.  An attitude of denying a claim when possible.  Even when there is a clear link to a health problem if one has not been diagnosed while in the military with a problem the claim is likely to be denied.  An example is my back where the VA will admit that I fell into a bunker and went to sick call, but because there was no diagnosis given, and I think I was seen by medics and not physicians, I am not service connected to it.  This is even though I have heard medical people say that back injuries often will not show up for years after the precipitating event.  I have not seen a doctor very many times for my back because they will give me some exercises to do, and sometimes pain medicine or muscle relaxants.

6.  A desire on the part of the Department of Defense and/or the Bureau of Veterans’ Affairs to not admit that the environment that was in Saudi Arabia during the Persian Gulf War was extremely toxic , and the troops even in Saudi Arabia were exposed to chemical warfare agents.  The standard line is that even if there were chemical agents in the area they would have been so dispersed to render them ineffective.  The problem with this is that it would be unethical to test to see how much it would take to begin to damage the troops minds and bodies.  Another standard tactic is to say that there are no proven studies that exposure to the many different chemicals and conditions the troops faced were actually dangerous or harmful.

     Another thing it seems that the government wants to deny or not admit to is the number of military personnel given experimental vaccines.  Before my company left Ft Stewart for Saudi Arabia we were told that we were receiving the botulism vaccine which was experimental.  The line today is that only about 8000 troops received it while they were in Saudi Arabia.  What happened to the ones stateside who received it.

            I will admit I am writing this out of frustration and hurt as once again I have been denied items that should be service connected.  Unfortunately my story is not unusual.  The process for applying and being granted compensation and benefits has become so complicated that most people who do not use a veterans service organization such as the American Legion do not get granted on the first try.  They have to fight and appeal for years to be granted connection for benefits they have earned, often at the expense of their health.  It is time for the executive and the legislative branches of the United States to meet and fund the promises they made when the personnel of the Armed Forces raised their right hands and entered into the service of the USA.
This is a copy of the letter someone received when they were searching for their records.  Notice it flat out says most records below the brigade level were destroyed, and it went against the regulations.

SOME THOUGHTS ON LOSS

Grief overwhelms many
Rage, denial, depression
Acceptance distant

     Several of my friends have suffered loss over the past week.  For some it is the death of loved ones, family and/or friends.  Others have lost pets that had grown to be part of the family.  There are those who have hopes and plans ripped to shreds by others who seemingly don't know or don't     care.  Some are waiting test results that will determine the way one lives over the next few months or years.  I know there are others who are hurting, and yet have not shared it on facebook, and maybe even with their closest friends and family.

     We all have or will face these issues.  Then to compound the unease the emotions that are raging in and through us, we begin to to feel guilty because we "have to be strong for ___."  We feel guilty for feeling like we are putting more burdens on others, or that other people have problems that are worse than ours.  We may not want to appear weak or down, whiny or indecisive.

     For my friends who have gotten this far and are experiencing this I have something to tell you.  Actually I have several things to tell you.  The first is this:  YOU ARE NORMAL as you experience these feelings.  You have suffered a major loss be it a relationship (death is a form of being broken up) or the hopes and dreams you had for the future have been ripped from your soul by news you have received.  It is alright to feel this way.  While it may be hard to do so, please do not feel guilty for feeling the way you do.  Now, if it is six months to a year later and you are experiencing the same feelings you probably need to seek professional help, but loss of any time is a wound to your psyche/soul/spirit and it takes time to heal.  As I understand medicine, one of the actions that needs to take place for people to heal is the need to get rid of the bad germs/poison in the body.  If the bad stuff is not expelled then it grows and festers until it either comes out explosively or overcomes the body and begins to impact the rest of the body as it spreads.  Keeping your grief and hurt inside is like keeping the infection inside of your body while it grows and begins to swell the body.  Work your hurt out through some way.  It may be prayers to God (it is ok to yell and question God); maybe it is a bunch of crying; it could be some sort of meditation and solitude; and still another way could be talking with close friends.

     The second item is this-do not minimize how you are feeling.  Remember this-one person's mole hill maybe some one else's mountain.  You may be looking at another person's mountain and think yours in only a molehill when in reality to you it is as steep and as high as the other person's.

     As we move to number three, understand that working through hurt and loss, grief and pain can be a very long process.  Rarely is it over quickly, and rarely can you do it yourself.  You might think you can, but every time you talk to a friend, pray to your God, post on facebook you are reaching out for help.  It may just be to say you are hurting still, or it may be you want a response, some comfort.  The pain can ebb and flow.  The sorrow may be seen approaching while other times it can just appear out of no-where (one of my friends calls it a grief tsunami.)  As you think about the history in the world think about how many cultures have had extended times of mourning.  We in America often want and think our loss and pain should be overcome and disappear within a week.  It does not usually happen that way, and if we try to rush it we end up with the same effects as number one.

     Finally, remember there is hope.  It may be hard to see, but it is there.  As long as one draws breath there is hope.  Some may say that is not true and give evidence of those who are in a vegetative state in a hospital or care center.  However, miracles (or unexplained phenomena if you do not want to ascribe certain things to God or are a non-theist) do occur.  New procedures are discovered.  Strangers enter your life and become friends.

     As a follower of Jesus Christ I believe in the hope that will be fulfilled at the end of time.  Even when it may seem hopeless I can lean on the hope that only God can provide through his faithfulness to his covenant.  May you find peace and hope in your time of hurt and sorrow.